When Harry met Aragog
by Biku chan
Summary: When Harry and Ron come face to face with Aragog, Harry finds himself dealing with both a moron and a vegitarian.


Aragog's Encounter: what really happened  
  
In the dead of night, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were walking through the Forbidden Forest, or well, Harry walked, Ron was trembling. With his lack of brain cells, it was not an awkward experience to observe Ron trembling. Ever since the Devil's Snare nearly suffocated him last year, he was lucky with what he got, a bad leg. He kept his distance behind Harry.  
  
"Are we going to see the butterflies, Neville?" Ron asked cheerfully.  
  
"For the last time Ron, I'm Harry Potter, not Neville. Notice I have a SCAR on my forehead. And no, don't you remember what Hagrid said? Follow the spi." Harry started before Ron rudely cut off.  
  
"Follow the spies? But Neville Potter, how will we catch them, I mean they are very hard to find when they spy on people, aren't they?"  
  
Harry could feel comfortable with saying that he was the brains of the outfit, or rather the brain of the outfit. He opened his mouth to correct him, but he decided not to say anything knowing that if he said something a million times, it wouldn't go through Ron's thick head. Instead he said, "um. yeah, sure. Only were following spiders, not spies" And threw a look of confusion at Ron.  
  
"OOOOOHHHH!" Ron said smiling stupidly, "I don't like spiders, Neville."  
  
Harry just looked at him. "Why do you think I'm Neville? I'm HARRY! Notice the scar. AGAIN!" Harry said, pointing to the lighting bolt scar engraved on the center of his forehead.  
  
Ron just looked at it for a minute. or two. okay twenty then he said. "Oh yeah, your that kid who stopped he-who-must-not-be-named, aren't you?" He nodded his head and from where Harry was standing, he looked like a bobble- head "Oy, wait you got a twig on your head" He reached out and grabbed the center of his forehead and started to pull on it. "It won't come off"  
  
Harry rolled his eyes and hit Ron's hand from ripping off his scar and walked into a dark cave where all of the black spiders gathered. When they entered the middle of the cave they encountered a large black spider.  
  
"You are Aragog, aren't you? We came to ask you some ques." Harry began.  
  
"Yes, I am Aragog. Who dares enter my cave? Who sent you?" The great spider thundered.  
  
"I'm Harry Potter and this is my friend Ron Weasley. We attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and weird things are happening there. We were wondering if you knew anything because Hagrid told us you were blamed the last time the chamber opened." Harry said.  
  
"T-t-the chamber of s-s-secrets? Ah, yes I remember that year. Hagrid, for the kind hearted man that he was kept me and protected me when I was young. I hated living in that box you know. I remember that place very well. Many witches and wizards that would make my stay dreadful. I know what resides in the chamber." Aragog said.  
  
Harry looked up hopefully. "Can you tell us what resides in the chamber?"  
  
"We spiders don't dare speak of it. For it is what we spiders fear most." Aragog said.  
  
Ron looked at Aragog for a minute than spoke, "Are you a butterfly cause I can't tell when you take your wings off"  
  
Aragog looked like he just saw a mime talk. "Um, we are spiders do we look like butterflies?"  
  
"So do you know where the chamber is?" Harry asked Aragog again.  
  
"No more talk. My sons and daughters are starving and I can't deny them fresh meat. Goodbye" Aragog said as a swarm of spiders surrounded them.  
  
"You can't eat us!" Harry yelled  
  
"I know that. I'm a vegetarian. But my kin won't follow in my footsteps. Sorry." Harry said dashing out of the cave. Ron followed slowly behind.  
  
"Lets get out of here" Harry said pulling Ron away from a enclosing spider. Ron nodded, then grinned stupidly, skipping through the forest. Harry groaned, pitying Ron's stupidity and started running from the spiders closing in behind them.  
  
"Neville! The butterflies are coming!!!" Ron screamed, tripping over himself.  
  
"SHUT UP AND RUN YOU PRAT!!!" yelled Harry. He then bumped into something very hard.  
  
He banged into the car, which had now turned wild from being in the forest. Ron also slammed into the car smacking his head on the windshield. Ron stared blankly for a moment, his small brain taking a horribly long time to react.  
  
"OOOW!!!" wailed Ron, his nerves finally working. He then proceeded to dramatically writhing on the ground in pain.  
  
"Idiot." Harry mumbled, kicking Ron. After a few more minutes of screaming and flailing around on the ground, Ron got up and the stupid grin returned to his face.  
  
"Wow! It's the car Neville! Let's go play with it!" Ron screeched mirthfully prodding the car. Five seconds later Ron spoke again.  
  
"Hey!" screeched Ron, then patted it lovingly on the hood.  
  
"Ron, will you hurry up BEFORE WE DIE!" Harry screamed to his pathetic friend.  
  
"I think I'll name you Bob!" Ron then hugged the car/Bob.  
  
The car gave an ominous rumble. Obviously it didn't like being patted. Or maybe it just didn't like Ron for being so stupid. Or maybe it really didn't like the name Bob. Who knows? What ever it was, it revved the engine and took off after the boys.  
  
"AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!" bellowed Harry and ran like hell. Ron was following behind him, screaming for his mommy.  
  
After chasing the screaming boys for a while, the car got bored. Chasing after two wailing kids wasn't too exciting. It figured that it could go find some hot chicks like that convertible from town or maybe the Jaguar from down the street.yeah he decided that's what he'd do. The car honked its horn and drove off into the forest to get ready. The boys finally stumbled out of the forest panting.  
  
"That was fun!" squealed Ron jumping up and down. "Can we do it again?"  
  
Harry stared at him for a moment, and then smacked him over the head. Ron of course, was too stupid to notice so Harry walked back up to the castle muttering about the damn spiders and the car and how friggin' messed up his life was but most of all, wondering how Ron could get so stupid. 


End file.
